A friend of mine once told me: „Some experience more heartbreaks than others and I don’t know why that is. But one thing I know for sure: Heartbreaks are meant to make us more like God. Through suffering we learn obedience. Some grow bitter towards God and the people when they have to go through it. But if we learn to accept them and deal with them, they will become a great blessing to us and we will be able to bless others with it, too.“
When I asked God to change me into a woman after His own heart, He didn’t point out the things I’m missing in my life. He didn’t appear in my dreams to tell me what I should change. What He gave me was heartbreak, sorrow, pain. He crushed me and my dreams and the future I had made up for myself. He told me to let go of the things I held dearest. And after all the pain and sorrow, after all the tears were cried, He gave me peace! He gave me the assurance that He is with me no matter what I am going through right now.
I thought I was a strong Christian before. I thought that nothing could ever separate me from God. And then God put it to test. „Will you do that for me?“ He asked me and pointed to that one thing I loved so much.
And I thought I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. „Anything, God. But not that. You can have my sins, you can have my worries, you can have my past, but not my future.“
But deep inside I knew I had to let go. But oh how painful that is!
„Ok fine, if that’s what it takes to become more like you – take it! But don’t expect me to be happy with it. How can you be that cruel? Do you even love me? Is THAT love?“
And all He says is: Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. Jeremiah 31:3
Do you want to know God? Do you truly want to know Him? Expect to be broken! Expect to be crushed and hurt and broken. But know that He is doing all that, because He loves you! You’ve asked for it!
How can we know we’re obedient if we never had to do anything we didn’t want to do? Abraham was ready to sacrifice his only son for the sake of obedience! He didn’t even question God’s intentions. God spoke and Abraham did.
It ain’t easy. You’re trying to bring the sacrifice, secretly peeking to the sides to see if there’s maybe a sheep hiding in the bush. But God sees our heart. And softly He says again: „Let it go!“
And when you finally let go, with tears in your eyes and a bleeding heart – B R O K E N, that’s when God starts to reveal himself to you. And you’ll see: God is our heavenly Father who will never forsake you! He cares so much for you. Your pain is His pain. Your worry is His worry. And He will take care of it. He will give you something that is so much better, because His plans are always better than ours.
When you ask God to reveal himself to you, expect to be surprised!
Of course we have the choice to not follow God’s will and His plan for our life. We can choose the life we want to live and God won’t force His will upon us. But we can also choose to obey Him. To fully put our trust into Him and let Him be our guide. When we do that, we need to know that He will lead us unexpected ways and ever so often it also means heartbreak. Because we often hold on to the wrong things and people in life. People who are pulling us away from God instead of bringing us closer to Him.
Are you ready to be changed? Are you ready for heartbreak? I wasn’t, but I know that God is faithful. He will never close a door without opening one. And I know that God blessed me when He smashed that one door I was looking out for so much.
It still hurts sometimes. I still cry myself into sleep sometimes. But God is faithful! And one thing I know for sure: Heartbreaks are meant to make us more like Christ! I can see that. I know I’ve changed so much. God has changed me so much in areas I would have never changed in without that heartbreak.
„God, I know I’ve prayed for your will to be done in my life. But I didn’t know it’s gonna be THAT painful! I expected to be changed and I was looking for people to come my way and to tell me what I should do, but I didn’t expect you to take away what I love the most. Was it really necessary?“
And yet again He speaks: I love you! Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you!
When God draws us, everything that is far from Him and His will, will come apart. We can’t hold on to God with one hand, while grabbing for something that is not from Him with the other one. God will have to break it!
But after the heartbreak there is peace! A peace that is only found in Christ. Growing bitter towards God won’t help us in any way. It will only make us feel even more miserable and lost. But when we put our hope in God and forgive everyone we hold grudges against, that is when healing finds its way into our hearts and we find that peace we’ve been looking for. And God will make a way, where there seems to be no way. He will provide as only our heavenly Father can!